I finally broke up with him.
I swore I would never be one of those girls who stayed with someone just because it was better than being on my own, but for months that’s exactly what I did.
I tried to make it work.
I confronted him a few months ago about his commitment issues and my suspicions that he was spending time with others. He denied it, of course. Told me he was still interested in me and begged me not to leave him. He blamed his behavior on a crazy work schedule and asked me to give him another chance.
So I did.
I knew better, but I took him at his word and gave him another chance.
In all fairness, I’m not proud of my behavior in all of this. I admit that I stalked him. There was Googling involved. I checked his twitter account. I started paying attention to the other people he spent time with.
It didn’t help that I could see the pity in my friends’ eyes when they asked about him. They knew it wasn’t working out, that I was making excuses for him and that he wasn’t good for me. They kept telling me I should find someone better, but I didn’t want to hear it.
Sure, I wanted to be with someone who appreciated me, but I knew I couldn’t find someone else while we were still together. We had a commitment, and even if I feared it meant nothing to him, it still meant something to me.
I finally just couldn’t ignore the signs. I knew he was stringing me along. He stopped communicating with me. He made promises about the holidays, but they came and went without notice.
I had to stop making excuses for him.
So, as scary and awful as it was, I finally made the decision and went through with it.
He acted surprised. Couldn’t believe I was taking such a drastic step. Blamed me for the problems in our relationship. But I held firm.
In the end I knew I’d made the right decision. I needed a clean break and as much as it hurt, I believed we’d both be better off in the long run.
And that was how I broke up with my literary agent.
Laura Kilmartin - Books & Blog 
Brilliant piece of writing! Loved the slant you put on this.
Well done on both:)
Elizabeth
Thanks so much! I appreciate it.
Oh, no! This writing proves that you deserve the best!! He (or she!) is out there.
have you checked him out at http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums under the beware and background thread?
it’s sad, but his behavior isn’t that weird for an agent. seven months is a blip. 😦
Thanks for the link to the thread – I’ll check him out. I think he’s legitimate, just someone who doesn’t meet his promises. I was bummed about the lapse of seven months, but it wasn’t until he stopped responding to e-mails that I finally decided to stop working with him.
[…] I fired TEA. https://laurakilmartin.wordpress.com/2009/12/04/breaking-up-is-hard-to-do/ […]
Laura,
You are definately worthy.
mm
Thank you so much!! I appreciate it!
crap, did we have the same agent?? I fired mine last month. Fortunately, only wasted 2 months. Unfortunately, this sets me back in terms of the summer slowdown… but yeah, like you, I stalked his Twitter, only to find that he was more addicted to surfing the web than reading my MS! My ugly story’s on my site if you want to check it out. But if your old agent is also from Canada…I think we might have shared an ex!!
It wasn’t the same agent – mine was based in New York – but I’m beginning to think our story isn’t that unique which is such a shame! I saw that you’ve found new representation which is great – congratulations!
[…] can come within 10 feet of my Ex-Agent (See: Breaking Up is Hard to Do) and neither of us will spontaneously combust. We actually shared a pleasant, professional smile […]